Sleep. I really understood, recently, how utterly healing it is. Intense caregiving, especially near the end, leads to sleeping in short increments. Often with one ear 'open.' Now, it's just me and the old dog, and we're both working through sleep adjustments. But, the release from stress and the gain on sleep has led to a lot less back pain and an increase in well-being. The subject matter of individual dreams does affect the quality of the day I find. I wish I could preset the subject matter before I go to sleep. That might affect the next day's emotional patterns. That said, I sure hope you find relief for your own issues soon.
The possible sleep connection is interesting to me because sleep is one of the few things that I know for certain has an effect on my pain; lack of / poor quality of sleep almost always leads to a "brittle" and weak feeling to my most common areas of pain that almost always leads to it worsening through the next day. A lot of times the best way I can describe my pain is "highly dynamic and unpredictable", and this is the one thing I'm positive of in terms of cause and effect. That doesn't mean good sleep (do I ever have it?) consistently has the opposite effect, either.
I don't have a sleep disorder, but the prolonged periods of intense insomnia describes me as well as "great worsenings".
Among the possible factors of unexplained chronic pain, I've read on your site, "inflammaging" resonates most with me, especially since some of my worse pain episodes "feel" like the tissues are inflamed and NSAIDs are effective for those types. Especially because lack of sleep might / does contribute to said inflammation, which can contribute back to lack of sleep, and sleep is needed to heal tissues effectively, and the whole process is great for injury and onto more inflammation.
I've also experienced several "Great Worsenings" myself; distinctly down the road and with wild new symptoms from what is the most "this sounds like the reason", which was a car crash followed by back pain lasting about 1-2 years, and then no trouble for another 5 years when the symptoms went crazy and multiplied.
Anyways, I've recently discovered this substack after first discovering and being majorly inspired and helped by painscience.com 7 or so years ago. Sorry you are going with it but thank you for sharing, hope some of the shared themes might resonate back with you.
I've been following your story for awhile, and have been especially interested in the benzo withdrawal angle. I've tried tapering off of Klonopin two times in the past, and always had horrible experiences and ended up going right back on. Somehow I gathered my courage to try again, and did a 9 month taper after having been on it for over 20 years. I have been off now for five months and still have lingering problems. But like you, I can't say that it is the cause for all of my problems, because I've had weird stuff since I was a kid. I've had sleep problems, too, and took Ambien nightly for 20 years. Off of that now, too. I can't say my life is any better, but maybe in time I'll reach a new normal.
Hi, Barbara. Glad this gives you a little feeling of community! And that community is definitely real. The farther I fall down this rabbit hole, the more I appreciate the fact that struggling with health is kinda standard for humans. Robust health past middle age is mostly about luck and/or privilege, and the grey zone between that and overt and dramatic pathology is HUGE, and a much of the human species lives there.
Five months free of benzos is a delicate time: so close to being out of the woods, but not quite … and I’ve often wondered if it’s EVER possible to truly be free of the slightly rattled post-benzo vibe. Maybe not. Probably not!
Sleep. I really understood, recently, how utterly healing it is. Intense caregiving, especially near the end, leads to sleeping in short increments. Often with one ear 'open.' Now, it's just me and the old dog, and we're both working through sleep adjustments. But, the release from stress and the gain on sleep has led to a lot less back pain and an increase in well-being. The subject matter of individual dreams does affect the quality of the day I find. I wish I could preset the subject matter before I go to sleep. That might affect the next day's emotional patterns. That said, I sure hope you find relief for your own issues soon.
It would be AMAZING to be able to "preset the subject matter." 🙂 What a lovely fantasy.
The possible sleep connection is interesting to me because sleep is one of the few things that I know for certain has an effect on my pain; lack of / poor quality of sleep almost always leads to a "brittle" and weak feeling to my most common areas of pain that almost always leads to it worsening through the next day. A lot of times the best way I can describe my pain is "highly dynamic and unpredictable", and this is the one thing I'm positive of in terms of cause and effect. That doesn't mean good sleep (do I ever have it?) consistently has the opposite effect, either.
I don't have a sleep disorder, but the prolonged periods of intense insomnia describes me as well as "great worsenings".
Among the possible factors of unexplained chronic pain, I've read on your site, "inflammaging" resonates most with me, especially since some of my worse pain episodes "feel" like the tissues are inflamed and NSAIDs are effective for those types. Especially because lack of sleep might / does contribute to said inflammation, which can contribute back to lack of sleep, and sleep is needed to heal tissues effectively, and the whole process is great for injury and onto more inflammation.
I've also experienced several "Great Worsenings" myself; distinctly down the road and with wild new symptoms from what is the most "this sounds like the reason", which was a car crash followed by back pain lasting about 1-2 years, and then no trouble for another 5 years when the symptoms went crazy and multiplied.
Anyways, I've recently discovered this substack after first discovering and being majorly inspired and helped by painscience.com 7 or so years ago. Sorry you are going with it but thank you for sharing, hope some of the shared themes might resonate back with you.
Resonation achieved. Thanks for commenting, Rob. Lot of familiar themes there for sure.
I've been following your story for awhile, and have been especially interested in the benzo withdrawal angle. I've tried tapering off of Klonopin two times in the past, and always had horrible experiences and ended up going right back on. Somehow I gathered my courage to try again, and did a 9 month taper after having been on it for over 20 years. I have been off now for five months and still have lingering problems. But like you, I can't say that it is the cause for all of my problems, because I've had weird stuff since I was a kid. I've had sleep problems, too, and took Ambien nightly for 20 years. Off of that now, too. I can't say my life is any better, but maybe in time I'll reach a new normal.
Your blog helps me feel less alone! Thank you!!
Hi, Barbara. Glad this gives you a little feeling of community! And that community is definitely real. The farther I fall down this rabbit hole, the more I appreciate the fact that struggling with health is kinda standard for humans. Robust health past middle age is mostly about luck and/or privilege, and the grey zone between that and overt and dramatic pathology is HUGE, and a much of the human species lives there.
Five months free of benzos is a delicate time: so close to being out of the woods, but not quite … and I’ve often wondered if it’s EVER possible to truly be free of the slightly rattled post-benzo vibe. Maybe not. Probably not!